HIZ. THIS IS MY NEW BLOG YOZ.

 www.nic-olelee.blogspot.com

All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ll find

So take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

but what good does it do?

You're in dreamland for about a second and two, and then. *POOF* you're back to reality.

You're back to the harsh reality.

Still, those times are like sweets. Addictive sweets. Eating too much, you won't know what is real or fake.

Still, when i look at the pictures, i try not to think so much of it. It's becoming a habit, you know. I want to think of it like, i've gone abroad to study. And i missed the times we spent together. You might know what i'm talking about. You might not. It doesn't matter, does it? It's already a month gone. A month gone away.

I love the pictures we took. I would laugh, in my mind. I looked at one particular photo, (sadly, i can't upload it. ) and really, the memories just...flows like a river. Without my permission. I really wish that there was some barrier to when the memories we wanna remember would come and those we don't want to remember would just stop. They could either pay a price to pass through or they just stay where they are.

Sometimes, i wonder. What if, i hadn't met them? I needn't go through so many awful moments in my life. But seriously, who wouldn't once in their life? It's all part of life. That's why i have You, Jesus. I know i can lean on You, whenever i feel the sadness coming back. Sometimes, i feel this is silly, me being so emotional. But this is who i am. God has made me like this. God made me who i am today. For a purpose. Not just carelessly putting me together. I'm not gonna go this alone. I'm God's mighty daughter. I know He is there for me, when i need Him. Though i can't hear his voice straightaway, eventually God will have His way to speak to me. God is cool, you know? :)

hello fellow internet-ers. I'M BACK!!! ha. Lame, Nicole, LAME. "SPELL LAME" "Uh....L-A-M-E." *BZZZZZ* WRONG! IT'S SPELT AS... ---------------------

okay seriously, i don't know who's that. :\ ha. you know Annabel called me then at first i thought it was my pri school friend, ANNABELLE. then she asked me for my t-shirt size, i was like, "why?" then she said it was for the camp then i was like OH...it's ANNABEL CHOW! ha ha. funny right right right ??? *SILENCE* okay whatever. > < right, tmr i'm going for my brother's prize presentation. yipee. BAD PART - I HAVE TO WAKE UP AS EARLY AS THEM!!! WHICH IS LIKE 6+  SHOOTZ. AND RIGHT. HAVE TO WEAR JEANS. EH WAIT OKAY I REALISED IT WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY WEIRD FOR ME TO BE THERE. LIKE YOU KNOW, A GIRL. OKAY NVM. AND WAIT, ALERT I HAVE TO BE RIDE IN THE SAME BUS AS MY BROS?!!!? AND BE IN A BUS FULL OF ROWDY POWDY BOYS. OMGOODNESS. JIU WOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Hi again people. I think i like using big fonts. it's like *PONG* on the screen, since my screen is like the size of jotter book? ha ha. This is awesome! anyway, i borrowed "How to paint animals" books. Getting ready for the Global Art competition yeah! YOU ALL- WATCH OUT! haha. I'm just joking, fellow participants. i will do my best for God!! ...and for Singapore too! :D Alrighty o. I have already done my Si han, bao zhang bao dao, and half a gong han!!!!! *SCREAMS* yay. just left the... zuo wen, book review(SIANZ, you know the book STINKS, no seriously. it stinks. like smelly smelly, ya know?) but i praise God, cus He has a purpose for me.

i don't know why, but i'm having a slight headache now. like "ARGH!" i feel like going parkway. you know during chinese tuition, it was really SLACK. and i liked texted in front of the teacher, was texting dee about the zoo trip! but oh no, we said next thurs...but next thurs is my beethoven concert!! :O SHOOTS. only this thurs i free, but that's like so rush. Okay anyway, then...i looked out of the window and thought to myself, "OH MY WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY IT IS TODAY!" no seriously, not being sarcastic here hey! The clouds were so puffy white, the sky an azure blue. It was simply pretty to the MAXXXXX. HAHA. yeah, and sadly, i was confined in a dimly-lighted room, with chinese words echoing over and over again. Maybe that's why i had a terrible headache. Because i couldn't enjoy the beauty of the day. I had to be stuck in tuition till 3++. OH WELL. I feel like sleeping but no where to sleep. Only the floor's available. Hard and itchy. *YAWN* k. maybe i should colour my blog page with a few pictures. yayka.

:O

SIGH. i'm bored. when i think of those days where we were all good, it seems far away. Trying to pick up the courage to ask you all out, i don't know what's stopping me. Pride? that sense of betrayal still lingers, sadly. How? I keep saying to myself, i've no best friends, my only best friend is Jesus. Well, now to think of it, am i a good best friend too? OH well. I mean it's like...weird. Okay, i really don't know what i'm talking about. Like so much or so little is happening around me, i feel so distant. I'm just bouncing off each day. *Bounce bounce bounce* SIGH. I'M BORED. Why am i writing in this humungous(dont care how it's spelt) font. yay, later at 12, have CSI:NY. i likey. okay. the reason why i wanted to blog was because i wanted to vent out the feelings, those hurtful  feelings in me. LONELY. I'M SO LONELY. Ah. Then i read this,

Rewards also depend upon how people treat us. Matt 5:11-12 says, "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." If people despise you or speak against you, or you hear somebody who has spoken against you, you should say,

(oh i love this...)

"PRAISE THE LORD! ANOTHER LITTLE DIAMOND IN MY CROWN!"

YAY.

Today is a blessed day indeed. God's grace is enough, more than i need :) Well, to start off, Ps. Yang preached an amazing word  Yep...And uh. well.  SIGH what should i blog about. Oh for dinner, went to T3, with the family and Aunt Karin's family, Rachall. Omgoodness i loved the xiao dian er food. Loved the soup, Seriously. Ha, then we went to this RED MUSICAL BALL? haha, and oh when Rachall and I accompanied Lucas to the toilet, we dared to go into the (EMPTY) men toilet hahahahaha. Hilarious we tried to use our hoodies to disguise ourselves as guys. FAIL. ha. then while we were like poking our heads in, this indian man with his luggage was headed for the toilet, we were like, "Oh no." then we hurry to the girls toilet. HAAHHA LAME. :|

ALL right think i better go off now. I think i need to spend less time on the computer, and more on God. No apologies! :)

P.s Okay this is little confidential, but i SERIOUSLY need to let it out! I've been thinking about this the entire day. Last night, i dream that i kissed a guy. O.O, right? Seriously, weird. Okay, i was like standing in front of this guy...(I don't know who's that, but i felt like as if i was 'close' to him) then he said something like, "you look like snow white..." then i smiled and i pierce(or however you spell it) my lips and pecked him a kiss on his lips. It felt so..lovey lovey. AHAHA. Then i put my arm around his shoulder and like....omgoodness this is getting toooooo weird. SERIOUSLY.

:P

Ha ha, Today is a cheerful day, because Jesus is cheerfully good. Yeah, so went to the new tuition centre. Lucas and I had to do this 'diagnosis test' lol. I was so tired lorh, omgoodness thus i was in the SIANZNESS moood. :| the teachers there were...weird ha ha! One asked me if i was from Sg. I was like, "Uhh. i am?" HAHAHAHA. So weird. Imagine me saying, "No! I'm one-third korean, one-quarter german, one-seventh african, uhhh and the rest is just pure singaporean." OKAY THAT'S LAME. :P

So anyway, in the afternoon went for the prize presentation. Surprisingly, i wasn't like NERVOUS NERVOUS LIKE SIAO. I was calm and serene. Oh, when i reached, i was like late. everyone was sitting there already and when i walked in, the emcee saw me. omgoodness, you know the emcee, i think he looks kinda cute/hot. HAHAHAHA. sianz lah nicole. so sat down and waited for my name to be announced, went up. Okay while waiting, i got a little goosepimples. i mean like, "Hey, i'm the only kc girl there leh!" When i shook hands with the guest-of-honour, he said, "Wah, the only IJ girl....raise the IJ flag/banner...." Something like that lah and i was like, "yeah.. yeah." HAHAHAHA. COOLIO.

CELL. FUN. COOOL. GARY PREACHED.

you know what. I FEEL SO ON FIRE NOW. I tell YOU ALL that YOU ALL should listen to "You are good" by Gateway. It's like WHOA-AH! ha ha ha. you know, i don't know why. just when i felt so so so happyyyyy, this thought, irritating thought popped up into my mind.

"What if you were to die soon? What if your happiness is short-lived? What if suddenly a natural disaster strikes Singapore? What if.... What if.... What if...."

At first, i nearly fell victim to this vindictive thoughts. I knew who sent this. I know that this running of thoughts can just put out that burning flame. I know that if i believed that someone and immediately, i know my fears will arise. I know that i will stuck. I will feel scared. I will feel afraid.

And that i do not want.

I have  a choice to listen to who. That quiet gently whisper in my heart, or that vicious screaming in my mind. I experienced this before many many times. I don't want this mistake to repeat it again and how these silly thoughts of the devil can easily trap,causing me to be in cage of despair and anxiety. I want to be free. I know i am already free cause of my Jesus. I love Him, you know. But seriously, these thoughts.. can't match up to the little whispers i have from God Himself. IT'S AWESOME.

I'm gonna choose to listen to my saviour.

"Do not fear!"

Esther Sue gave me this bio book called - O-LEVEL BIOLOGY AT YOUR FINGERTIPS.

It is written on the front cover

• Concise notes arranged in topics
• Concept maps as memory aid
• Highly recommended for LAST-MINUTE REVISION.

Oh my goodness. Repeat it please.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR LAST-MINUTE REVISION.

THANKS SUE FOR GIVING ME THIS BOOK. :D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D

Ah. The peace.

I WANNA CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!

BANGZ PLEASE.